Ouch Ouch! This is nastiest attack I have had. He is meant and rude, he showed me now his true colors; I couldn't believe how he pointed me as stupid and lazy person in front of my boss. Ooh, I feel that I would like to poke out his eyes with my fingers. I want to rip his tongue out of his throat. Wait me! If I have the chance next time, I will tear you into small pieces and grind these pieces beneath my heel. OMG! What to do?

Master of ceremony, fellow toastmaster and most welcome guest, good evening.

When someone hurts you, a natural human reaction is to hurt them back specially if you attacked by an act that cost you a lot. But this is not the problem, the problem is if you dwell on anger, if you settle this anger in your heart, you're now operating from the position of a victim and you're what they called "a grudge holder".

An old proverb says "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other people to die."

This means that the only ones you hurt are yourselves. Holding a grudge keeps life running on rewind, preventing you from moving on and looking forward to the future. You keep looking over your shoulders at some bitter memories you experienced. You recall how awful it was, causing you to irrationally dwell on the past and blame your present failures on past misfortunes. Carrying a grudge also pokes holes in your energy bucket. You will feel constantly tired, weary, lacking the peace of mind, sick and lethargic. This is because you are wasting great amounts of unconscious energy maintaining your grudge. You will stop at nothing to even the score against the other party.

Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of grudge holding on the health and found that holding on to grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems, including:

• High blood pressure, high heart rate

• Stress

• High hostility

• High risk of alcohol or substance abuse

• More depression and anxiety symptoms

•More friendships failure and unhealthy relationships

This will move me to share with you five magic secrets in dealing with grudge that could surge up your emotional and physical energy.

Secret 1: Decide to move on. Make the choice to clear up the mental space occupied by this grudge. Once you choose to move on, the grudge will gradually dissipate.

Secret 2: Accept what is. Stop waiting for signs of remorse. You may never get an apology, be the bigger person and put the incident behind you.

Secret 3: Forgive. Forgiving someone doesn't exempting them from their actions. It doesn't change the facts. Forgiving also doesn't mean you have to forget. It does mean that you acknowledge that the person is human and that we all make mistakes.

Secret 4: Shift your focus. Look at the good things about the person. Find the positive in the situation. Maybe you learned a lesson and discovered something new about yourself. Changing your viewpoint will help you release grudge.

Secret 5: Don't feed the monster. Once you've voiced your grudge and committed to moving on, don't continually talk about the offense. If you find yourself thinking about it, mentally change the subject. If someone brings it up, explain that it's in the past and you don't want to dwell on it.

Ladies and gentlemen, life's Too Short to Hold a Grudge. All of you please close your eyes, take deep breath and let's go back to the past. Forgive all those who have hurt or angered you and repeat with me this pledge: " for me and for others happiness, I will practice compassion, I will practice compassion."